The Tempo Of My Life
“Make us glad…” (Psalm 90:15)
I have a problem.
I continue to fall prey to the temptation that the best way to do what God is calling me to do…hmmm…well, even worse, to be who I think God wants me to be…that the best way forward is to increase the tempo of my life. Just a few more tweaks on my iCal, just a few more structural changes in Todoist, just a slightly different organizing in Notion (those are all productivity apps, for those of you who are far less of a freak than I am), and I’ll finally be happy and satisfied.
However, that’s just messed up.
Or to say it a different way, slightly adjusting the Mandalorian creed — This is not the way.
Because there is a far better way…
I’ve been attempting to be more purposeful in getting my heart and mind on the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as I lay me down to sleep each night, ending the day with them, and their words, on my heart. Eugene Peterson has been my guide through his tiny devotional, Praying with the Psalms: A Year of Daily Prayers and Reflections on the Words of David.
A few days ago, it was a portion of Psalm 90 that would be the way. Here’s where Peterson pointed me:
Psalm 90:13-17, NIV
13 Relent, Yahweh! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor of Adonai our God rest on us;
establish the work of our hands for us —
yes, establish the work of our hands.
Huh. “Make us glad…”
Peterson reflects:
The slow-burning fuse of meditation reaches the powder of prayer and detonates the explosive question: "How long?" Eight petitions are put before God. Then, as the petitions mature, there is rejoicing, gladness, and a virile enthusiasm for work.
As someone who gets to do a bit of writing each week, I’m astounded by how few words Peterson needs to say so much. Read that first sentence again: The slow-burning fuse of meditation reaches the powder of prayer and detonates the explosive question: "How long?"
So, what I really need to be made glad in God is the slow-burning fuse of meditation. Slow-burning because meditation takes time. Space. Non-franticness. And it is this kind of fiery meditation that comes into contact with the powder of prayer that creates explosive questions and emotions. In this case, the question that combusts is, “How long?”
And the question is quickly followed with a request — “For however long that may be, Father, however long I have to struggle with the way things are and why they are in my life, in my schedule, could you at least do this — could you make me glad for as many days as it’s been hard? Could you make me glad for as many years as I’ve been troubled? And actually, Adonai, would you mind helping me see that it is not I that will make my work better, which is to say my doing better, which is to say my life better, but it’s you — help me to see that you are the one who will establish the work of my hands.”
To this end, Peterson offers this prayer:
Not by increasing the tempo of my life, O Yahweh,
or trying to add extra years to it,
but by sinking the life that I have this hour, this day,
into your will and in your presence,
may I find my hope and my blessing.
Amen.
Oh my! Peterson’s done it again — given us so much with so little!
The gladness in what I’m doing and who I am in that does not come by increasing the tempo of my life. In addition to the Psalmist, Jesus was awfully clear about that, “Can any of you add one moment to his life span by worrying?” (Matthew 6:27)
This is not the way.
Rather, by sinking the life I have — this hour, this day — into the will and presence of God, this is how we will find hope, and blessing, and gladness!
This is the way.
So start there, dear reader. Start each day there, sinking your roots down deep into the person and reality of the Father and the Son (Psalm 1:3).
And may the Spirit be with you.
